Kit O'Connell - What the fuck? (pubic shaving)

Kit O'Connell

"King of the Goats"

What the fuck? (pubic shaving)

8th-May-2008 10:22 pm

I am so tired of this lie -- that a woman's shaven vulva looks like a child's.

Time and time again you hear this from people who don't like to shave -- that the modern craze for pubic grooming is some deep-seated, pedophilic lust for children because it makes the area look identical to a child's.

This is just plain wrong.

Now I don't think anyone should feel forced to shave -- my own pubic region stays unshaven and usually, at least, untrimmed, which is also becoming rarer in men as it is in women. I have yet to hear complaints from a partner. I might consider it if I did. I think everyone should make this choice for themselves, based on -- polite! -- input from their lovers. I have been with women who shaved, as well as women who were hairy, just as I have been with women who did or did not shave other parts of their bodies such as their legs and armpits. None of the options are disgusting, all are erotic in their own way. A shaven cunt is pleasurable, just as is an unshaven one, even if the sensations are a little different.

But anyone who says a grown woman's balded private parts look like a kids has not been around children, nor actually studied an adult woman's body. The region changes during puberty in ways additional to the growth of hair, ways which are visible to those who care.

Anyway, tired of it.

Tags:sex, women

Comments

9th-May-2008 03:43 am (UTC)

I think sometimes people aren't comfortable just saying "I don't like x" or "X just isn't to my taste." They have to have reasons why they're right, why it's not just their opinion but something that all right-thinking people should believe. And I think also, when people are resisting popular trends and, possibly, direct personal pressure, they don't feel that "I just don't want to" holds up. It ought to, of course, but for a lot of people it doesn't.

9th-May-2008 03:55 am (UTC)

Good point, thanks for sharing.

Ranting about the pressure to shave is totally valid, but this particular argument is not.

9th-May-2008 04:13 am (UTC)

This was meant to be musing aloud about what might lie behind this behavior, not any kind of excuse or validation of the behavior itself. It's a stupid argument. It's a stupid argument even if you ignore the fact that no argument is needed and so any argument would be stupid. It has layers of stupidity all on its own.

9th-May-2008 04:15 am (UTC)

I got your point, and I agree. Just saying 'I don't want to shave' should be enough.

9th-May-2008 02:46 pm (UTC)

juliarandolph

Yes. And if pressed for a reason, I actually have one, but it's probably no one else's expletive business anyway.

9th-May-2008 11:26 am (UTC)

You'll see some of this among fat-positive folks about thin people. It's not enough for them to say that my fat friends have beautiful bodies (which some of them do; I'm totally on board there!) without saying that my body is ugly, that I must be anorexic, that I look ill, that I look like a little kid, that I look like a boy....

Due to the wonders of the internet, they don't have to say that to my face, of course. (I don't think anybody could claim either of the last two to my face without falling over laughing.) But they, too, have difficulty saying, "I like this." They have to go on and explain why what they like is better and what someone else might like is totally unsound and probably means that the other person kicks a kitten every morning before breakfast.

9th-May-2008 12:54 pm (UTC)

You look like a boy? or a little kid? Hahaha wow.

I have seen this attitude though and its really disgusting. I understand that fat people have been the subject of unpleasant ridicule and criticism for their body types, despite what (I agree) is often a very beautiful shape. So why dont they remember that treatment when (a select, unfortunate subset) turn it around on thin people? Is vengeance really so satisfying?

9th-May-2008 01:05 pm (UTC)

It's never "Mris looks like a boy" or "Mris looks like a little kid," it's always generalizations about women who wear under a particular dress size (which pretty much always includes me), or women whose ribs are visible, or various other generalizations.

I don't think it's vengeance, though. I think it's self-justification. Some people don't want to see themselves as kinky. Others are perfectly happy seeing themselves as kinky but don't believe that a particular taste or trait qualifies -- and I see their point. But they aren't going to keep their own portion of a particular spectrum of taste normal by declaring other portions abnormal; it doesn't work that way.

9th-May-2008 08:25 pm (UTC)

Good points, Mris. And of course their points are visually false too -- a woman who is anorexic vs. a woman who is naturally skinny are too very different things.

Edited at 2008-05-09 08:26 pm (UTC)

9th-May-2008 03:55 am (UTC)

delicatetbone

i think it looks like chicken breasts hanging from a body...nothing wrong with shaving, but I prefer a bit of hair on the mons and shaved labia

9th-May-2008 04:00 am (UTC)

Nothing wrong with personal preference. Not liking how it looks is a hell of a lot more valid, at least as applied to you and your lovers.

9th-May-2008 03:57 am (UTC)

flamingnerd

I hear what you're saying. The vehemence can be ridiculous. Still, to some adult means it ought to have pubes to be fit in their conceptions of sexuality. And that's fine. I don't tell people what their kinks should be. But to try to tell those of us who enjoy freshly shaved genitals on ourselves or others we're quasipedophiles is just not nice or accurate.

9th-May-2008 03:59 am (UTC)

Agreed, to each their own. But saying those who like it are wrong is just as bad as saying everyone must shave.

9th-May-2008 04:00 am (UTC)

flamingnerd

yup.

9th-May-2008 03:57 am (UTC)

I think most of the men who say this have never actually changed a little girl's diaper.

What's funny to me is that people who say this invariably say that "trimming it neatly" is more acceptable-- so, the ungroomed crotch is nasty, but cutting all the hairs off so they're nice and sharp is better? It's crazy. Like, they want to be about the "natural" look, but they don't want it to actually be natural.

And, well, I feel like being open today, so I will-- I don't like the "landing strip" either. If I'm shaving, it's because *I* like the way it feels, and that means that I want to shave where my hands will be, instead of denuding areas I can't comfortably get to and leaving hair where I'll feel it.

9th-May-2008 03:59 am (UTC)

And what about the women who say it? Because plenty do.

Thanks for your comment.

9th-May-2008 04:25 am (UTC)

I prefer a Brazilian, myself. So much nicer than shaving!

9th-May-2008 04:55 pm (UTC)

I hear you on that one. Waiting for my appointment tomorrow is driving me up the wall!

9th-May-2008 04:28 am (UTC)

Huh - to me, a woman's shaved pussy does look like a girl's, in a way that an unshaven one does not. And I started thinking that after babysitting for/bathing young girls when I was in high school, so it's not like I didn't have a basis of comparison. I don't think this ties shaving or preferring shaved women to pedophilia, and I do think a shaved cunt can be sexy and there are plenty of reasons why a woman might want to. It's just that for me, personally, when I see a woman's shaved cunt, it does look like a child's vagina to me. I'm not saying anyone else has to think that or that there aren't changes other than hair that come with puberty . . . it's just the connection that always leaps into my mind.

9th-May-2008 04:39 am (UTC)

skygoesgrey

my very first gf- the first person to see me naked in a sexual sense or to go down on me- told me it looked like I had 10yo pussy, and that totally scarred me for a long time. I mean, it's your first time with a girl and she totally slams your stuff. ouch. I was 16! I just thought that's what I should do- it's what was in the porns!

on another note, there was a little discussion about this in cabin 4 at pbf this year. a few of the folks were definitely of the "looks like little girl pussy" variety.

I think the discussion got a bit heated for my taste. My family all trims/shaves. There was definitely an "ew"/distaste coming from the Natural camp for the Trimmers.

I honestly don't care about it too much, really. i like mine to be trimmed on top, shaved on the labia, etc, but that's all personal preference about cleanliness (during periods it's especially nice to be clean cut) and masturbation (smooth in between feels really awesome). For others, I generally like anything they're comfortable with and clean about, so long as I can breathe while I'm down there;)

9th-May-2008 02:51 pm (UTC)

juliarandolph

I don't like to shave, but I do like to trim before my period, because it makes it easier to be clean then.

(Sorry if that's TMI for Kit.)

You do what you're comfortable with. I think "I do what makes me most comfortable in this area" is a perfectly reasonable justification for any preference, if justification is needed.

9th-May-2008 08:35 pm (UTC)

Not TMI. Its hard to gross me out and periods have never been something to do so. In fact, sex with a woman on her period is pretty hot...

10th-May-2008 12:24 am (UTC)

skygoesgrey

amen to this:)

9th-May-2008 05:29 am (UTC)

To me it's just grooming and people do things differently due to culture and a host of other factors. I don't really feel it means much at all, no more than hair on your head does. Though some folks keep long hair on their heads for religious reasons, think Rasta...for most dreds are just...hair.

People's feelings about sex, children and pedophilia? Oh, lord...I'll save that for another time and place when our culture has grown up. We put Interpol after a guy who had sex with boys in Southeast Asia and put priests who molest kids in another parish. We spend more money on rockets and bombs than healthcare for our own citizens but pedophiles are the ones who're wreaking havoc in our society? There's a large degree of illusion that permeates everything we do as a culture on a grand scale.

9th-May-2008 05:35 am (UTC)

Yeah... I hate shaving, but I have really sensitive skin and a ridiculously sensitive pussy. It feels way too exposed, I need a thin layer of protective fuzz to be comfortable, and shaving irritates my skin a whole lot. But when the hair gets too long it really gets it the way and it's really annoying, so I usually trim. I am always afraid of cutting myself though, so I kinda hate doing it. I really hate it when guys shave though, I mean having sex with them. Stubble is so sharp and scratchy, it's horrible.

But... if people do like to shave because it reminds them of a child... well, imagining your adult lover as a child, dressing an adult as a child, etc. isn't the same thing as pedophilia anyway. It totally turns me on to be treated as a little girl but I really don't have a child's body so I don't think there's pedophilia involved. I don't really see why anyone would make an issue of this unless the person is actually molesting children.

9th-May-2008 02:54 pm (UTC)

juliarandolph

But when the hair gets too long it really gets it the way and it's really annoying, so I usually trim. I am always afraid of cutting myself though, so I kinda hate doing it.

A beard trimmer might do the trick, the guard will keep the blade far enough away from the skin that cutting is dang near impossible, and it gives a decent trim.

Edited at 2008-05-09 02:54 pm (UTC)

9th-May-2008 06:05 am (UTC)

eh. As a mom of two little girls, I can say that I have seen shaven mons that look pre-pubescent. And others that don't. I think it totally depends on the woman.

I've had mine hairy and shaven and everything in between. Personally, I don't have a hair preference on female partners, but to each their own. I'm usually pretty accomodating to a partner's tastes in the matter, though I'm loathe to shave everything entirely on a regular basis just because it's too much of a hassle.

9th-May-2008 08:28 pm (UTC)

I think that's true -- some women 'develop' during puberty such that its a defintie visual difference, but I guess I have seen shaven mons which didn't seem to change that much, at least when they are not aroused.

Shaving does seem like a hassle, its why I don't shave my face much (though I think I will more this summer :).

10th-May-2008 01:21 am (UTC)

I agree that there is a definate range. the way our bodies change (or don't!) can be varied in all kinds of ways. Some women have child-like narrow hips, not wide, curvey birthin' hips, but having a thing for lovely ladies petite bone structure doesn't make anyone a pedophile in my book. Nor having a sincere appreciation for bitty boobies. God bless'em. They may not fill out a sweater, but they certainly look fantastic in all things "summer" from camis and tube tops to itty bitty bikinis... just like hips and breasts, I think some cunts look far more mature than others. I am less concerned with youthful bits on grown women than I am with incredibly shapely tweens. Few things freak me out faster than spotting a curvaceous hottie, lusting for a solid twenty seconds, and then getting close enough to realize I've been oogling a twelve or fourteen year old. :(

27th-May-2008 03:38 am (UTC) - pubic shaving

Anonymous

Quote"I am less concerned with youthful bits on grown women than I am with incredibly shapely tweens. Few things freak me out faster than spotting a curvaceous hottie, lusting for a solid twenty seconds, and then getting close enough to realize I've been oogling a twelve or fourteen year old. :( "

I know EXACTLY how you feel about this. It's like DAMN, she's fine only to have her turn around and you see that obviously tween/early teen face. I feel like I should go clean my skull out with draino and put out my eyes or something like that. I'm 42 and when I was that age girls didn't look anywhere NEAR as mature as they do now. I think girls started developing at about 16 or 17 plus they wore regular T shirts and jeans or dresses in church.

9th-May-2008 12:31 pm (UTC)

I like it when certain lovely features of the labia are enhanced by shaving or trimming that are missed when someone doesn't shave. On the other hand, there's hotness to stroking or diving headfirst into a thatch of soft hair...

Edited at 2008-05-09 03:05 pm (UTC)

9th-May-2008 02:52 pm (UTC)

knighthorse

YES! That has always annoyed me too. I've been made to feel like some weirdo for liking that.

I just prefer shaven (or trimmed) women. It is just cleaner. I'm not opposed to hair, I just prefer less or none. As a consummate licker, I don't like having to stop an pull hair out of my mouth. And, I like to see all the parts without having to part the Hair Sea.

9th-May-2008 02:55 pm (UTC) - Shaving for the licker

juliarandolph

Yes, I know someone who shaves his balls because he likes to have them licked and it seems to be nicer for the woman licking them if she doesn't have to deal with hair right there.

9th-May-2008 05:11 pm (UTC)

totalfantasy

Ah, thank you for posting this. I hate hearing this argument too, as I do the brazilian thing (when I've got the $$ that is). I did it because I knew my BF liked "a smooth landing strip", and I wanted to see if I liked waxing better since I'm not a huge fan of fur all over my cooter but I hate shaving even more. Turns out I really liked it! Made things so much easier to clean down there, plus it felt really nice to the touch and I certainly appreciated the extra attention ;)

Then someone told me "your BF must be a pedophile because who would want to sleep with someone whose box looks like an 11 year old's". OUCH! I hadn't ever even sort of thought of it like that before then, and your post makes me feel vindicated in my thoughts that waxing is a-ok :) Thank you.

9th-May-2008 08:31 pm (UTC)

Glad I could help you with this one, I can see it being really uncomfortable to be on the receiving end of that. Its sad that one person's personal preference drives others to insult them for their differences -- Mris provided another good example above, with body types.

9th-May-2008 10:19 pm (UTC)

When I had surgery and they bolted my pelvis back together, they shaved me of course, an the DR made this really weird comment about it. Something like, "You are nice and smooth like a little girl now." I am a male!!! It was a really weird thing for him to say.

Another funny thing, in the 80's when NOBODY shaved I was really turned on whenever I saw a shaved pussy, but now that it seems like everyone is shaved I find the hairy turns me on more.....I think tow things are in play, 1) I like things that are differnt.....2) When I see shaved pussy I think (porn star) and that DOES NOT turn me on.....being shaved has turned into sleazy IMHO......fake titts too.

10th-May-2008 03:06 pm (UTC)

wow, everyone really gets up in arms over this one don't they? I have tried EVERY variety (except waxing, can't quite bring myself to walk into a place and ask....working on it though) but if you can do or not do it with clippers, scissors or a razor, I have tried it. Finally settled on what works for me. I heard the "pre-pubescent" comment A LOT (from lovers who didn't just reply "ooh, i like it")when i was working in the adult entertainment industry, frankly i only shaved then b/c showing hair outside of a g-string can get you arrested or fired. There are advantages and disadvantages to both...but the two that pop to mind are: shaving, be it armpits or crotch, male or female, does seem to be "cleaner", but leaving at least some if not all the hair helps with friction. So, to each his or her own i say, and everyone who isn't sticking their face/fingers/toes/genitals into my area can just shut it, those who are can request, but they better do it nicely and I have veto power dammit! :)

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